This Can't Possibly Be Real (but OMG it is!): BlogHer '12 Voices of the Year

I share a lot on this blog. About my life, family, my struggles and my victories as a mom, a writer, a person. Confessional stuff I'm good at. But bragging? Has never been my thing. Sharing good news about myself has always felt uncomfortable to me, so when there's good news to share I'm more likely to ignore it than shout it from the rooftops.

Except THIS piece of good news--this rooftop worthy, OMG-this-can't-possibly-be-real, crazy-happy-tears kind of good news--I owe in part to all of you. For your endless support and loyalty through the years. For coming here and reading my words and sharing pieces of my life. For commenting and letting me share pieces of yours. I've got the best blog readers, ever. I appreciate each and every one of you more than you know.

So I'm sheepishly breaking my own no-bragging rule to tell you that I was chosen as one of BlogHer 12's Voices of the Year. 

When I read the notification email, I was getting in the car with all three kids (Tucker needed to go to the groomer on the way to school) and was preoccupied with a million boring normal things, like the 347 billionth lice outbreak at school, and whether I'd remembered to put the laundry in the dryer, and how to force Baby N to keep his shoes on until we got to Mommy and Me. 

So when I read it, I was so totally unprepared and so starstruck (because, I  mean, it came from Mr. Lady herself and OMG she knows my name!) that I barely the processed the info. And then I realized it said that I'd been chosen as a Voice of the Year and a reader at the BlogHer '12 Community Keynote. 

And then I thought (excuse the language on my normally PG-13 blog): 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

And then I cried.

And then Tucker, who was riding shotgun, leapt into my lap and started licking my face and shaking because he goes nuts when I cry, and then E was asking what was wrong, and I had to start the car and pull out the driveway and soothe Tucker and reassure E that I was crying because it was happy news and promise we'd have a dance party in the living room later to celebrate (because that's how we celebrate good news in our house) and tell Baby N to please stop kicking the back of the seat and was E absolutely sure her head didn't feel itchy?

The whole day felt surreal as I alternated between total elation and feeling like I was going to throw up any minute because there must have been some mistake, you couldn't possibly mean ME and you want me to read this thing in front of HOW many people?

I forwarded the email to J and waited smugly for my call of congratulations. Ten minutes later, I got a "wow that's fantastic" reply but no call so I called him.

"Well?" I asked when he answered.

"Well what? What's going on?"

"Did you READ THE EMAIL?"

"Yeah. I responded. That's great!" 

Pause. 

What does that mean, exactly?"

Offended, I started a breathless explanation which, as he failed to achieve my preferred level of excitement and adulation, I ended with "IT'S LIKE THE NOBEL PRIZE OF BLOGGING, GODDAMMIT!"

Which, of course, it's not. 

But to me it is. Because that's how deeply I admire and respect the bloggers who have achieved this distinction before me, and how surreal it is to suddenly find myself among them, and how crazy grateful honored I am to join ranks I'm still not sure I belong in. 

I think he knew I was exaggerating; he gave me one of those eye rolls I could literally hear through the phone. But he congratulated me anyway and let me ramble on and on without hanging up on me or interrupting once.

I'd intended to keep the news under wraps (per instructions in the email) but last night the congratulations started coming and once the official announcement went live and the news trickled through Facebook and Twitter I thought OK, why not? 

Because it all started here.

I am so incredibly honored, grateful and proud to have been chosen for this distinction by an organization that empowers women writers in a way that is truly legendary. Thank you, BlogHer. This means the world to me.

I'm sharing this incredible honor with some of the best writers and bloggers out there. For the full list of honorees, check out the announcement post here!